Written in : May 1998

The fourteenth day of September, nineteen hundred and ninety five AD was unquestionably a landmark date in the history of this great country. That was the day when one person, as true a genius as they come, put up a giant mirror in front of all of us. That was the day when all 80 crores of us Indians took a ride on the genius' magic carpet. That was the Thursday Ganesh drank milk.

I have since marveled at the genius of the person who made it happen. A miracle nothing else can match! How we enjoyed - and continue to revel in - the miracle of Ganesh drinking milk! What genius he must have to understand us so well!

The man who masterminded the entire operation deserves accolades from us. His achievement was astounding. There have not been many instances in recent times that can equal it. Why has he not yet stood up and claimed the credit rightfully due to him? I would nominate him for a Bharat Ratna. No, he deserves a Nobel.

Of course, it was not Nemichand a.k.a. Chandraswamy. We all know that his genius lies elsewhere. Why is the true genius so modest and not stand up? We surely can do with people like him. And with more miracles.

Since that September day, I have also wondered if I could emulate that great genius. And show off my miracle.

You see, I too have a miracle. A real one.

It is like this. I produce electricity. No, I don't own a power plant or work for one. I am talking of creating electricity out of nothing!

I can, that is, my body can generate electricity. Out of nothing. No jokes. Serious.

When I go home every evening, I am full of electricity. I touch my car and it sparks! I touch the railing of our house and that, too, sparks! If you touch me, you will get the shock of your life, I promise.

I am not the only one who can do it. Kamlesh, my brother, has been boasting of this since more than two years now! Kamlesh is sure he can ignite the gas stove merely by touching it - my mother has prohibited him from doing so. Possibly miracles run in the family and just the two of us have discovered our powers.

This miracle, I am sure, is no less than that of Ganesh drinking milk.

We are now explained that the Ganesh miracle is a natural and scientific phenomenon by silly scientists, ignorant of the socio-political-cultural nuances of Indian life. Do they really know the importance of miracles in the life of our poor, toiling masses? Do they understand that we really need miracles to march fast-forward into the 21st century? They naively believe that explaining away the miracle would close the matter. It won't, and it hasn't. Not in our beloved India that is Bharat.

You see, it does not matter to us that Ganesh drank milk because of surface tension and capillary suction (or was it action?). Or such other principle which does not make sense to us. Any way, who had ever heard of these principles before?

So I won't be surprised if some silly scientist will try to explain away my miracle. He might suggest that I don't generate electricity but gain static electricity before I go home in the evening. That, possibly, my car's acrylic seat covers gather it from the sun rays they receive all day and pass it on to me when I go home. That I can create the sparks only in the evenings when I go home and not during the day. That the sparks occuronly once after I get down from the car and when I first touch metal which is grounded to earth and that I cannot repeat it till the next evening. The scientist may also say that there are many people who gain such static electricity and in many more ways.

I had never before heard of static electricity. And, if many people do gain it, why did no one talk about it before today? No, no. Such 'scientific' explanations won't wash. My miracle will remain a miracle and I want it to.

I have, therefore, wondered how to show off my miracle to the brilliant Indian masses and urge them to continue to have faith in faith. To tell them that this miraculous country will always have miracles, and miracles alone will save us from our problems. To preach them that miracles alone will take this country from a wretched past to a glorious future - and not silly science, reason or logic. Science is not for us swadeshi Indians.

Unfortunately, I lack the genius required for this and have not yet found the way to do it. May be I am simply too inexperienced in these matters.

Can any of you, dear readers, help me use my miracle to uplift this miserable country?